I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
