pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
