I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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