You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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