Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
