I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
