did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
