Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
