4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
