Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
