I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
