What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
