bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
