hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
