Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
