I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
