Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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