there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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