I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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