i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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