she told me i tasted like america
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
