yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
