i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
