what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
