This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
