talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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