she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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