I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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