i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
