She's JV to your varsity
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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