just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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