Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
