Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
People in love make me want to vomit
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
wow bdsm is so cute
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
