Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
