I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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