Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
PANTIES FOUND
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