I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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