i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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