My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you still have your period?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
