In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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