I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
