big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
