he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
