Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
