do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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