Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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