There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
