You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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