I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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