a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
