I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
