I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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